What is Domestic Violence and Abuse?
Domestic abuse involves a pattern of harmful behavior used by one person to control and dominate another systematically. It can manifest in various forms across different relationships, even though the underlying cause may be similar.
If you recognize any of these signs in your relationship or someone else's, we urge you to reach out for assistance with safety planning. No one deserves to be abused, and victims are never responsible for the abuser's actions.
Economic Abuse
Recognizing PatternsEconomic abuse involves deliberately controlling resources to restrict the victim's financial independence. This can include:
- Refusing to provide money for essential needs
- Making you request money instead of granting continuous access
- Forcing you to surrender your earnings or spend them against your wishes
- Withholding support for your children
- Excluding you from financial decisions that affect you and/or your children
- Hindering your opportunities for education, job training, or employment
- Disrupting your work through harassment, such as frequent calls or unannounced visits
- Stealing from you, defrauding your money or assets, or exploiting your financial resources or property
- Forcing you to use your credit in ways you do not agree with
Physical Abuse
Recognizing PatternsPhysical abuse involves the intentional use of physical force with the potential to cause death, disability, injury, or harm. It can include, but is not limited to:
- Pushing, hitting, choking, kicking, biting, cutting, burning, spitting, shaking, slapping, pinching, or force-feeding
- Restraining you or blocking your exit from a room
- Throwing objects at you
- Threatening you with a weapon
- Locking you in or out of the house
- Leaving you in dangerous places
- Depriving you of sleep or waking you abruptly
- Denying assistance when you are sick, injured, or pregnant
- Putting you at risk by driving recklessly
Psychological Abuse
Recognizing PatternsPsychological abuse involves using verbal and non-verbal communication to intentionally harm someone mentally or emotionally, and/or to exert control over them. It can include:
Expressive Aggression
- •Using derogatory language or insults
- •Belittling you by calling you names such as "stupid," "dumb," "fat," "ugly," etc.
- •Intentionally humiliating you
- •Mocking your beliefs
- •Demeaning women as a whole
- •Continuously criticizing you
- •Threatening to take away your children
- •Threatening sexual assault
- •Threatening harm to your family
- •Threatening to leave or force you to leave
- •Ridiculing your friends and family
- •Harming your pets to upset you
- •Harming your children to upset you
- •Disregarding your emotions
Coercive Control
- •Restricting your access to transportation, finances, friends, and family
- •Excessively monitoring your movements and whereabouts
- •Refusing to use birth control methods
- •Insisting on pregnancy termination
Exploitation
- •Exploiting your vulnerabilities, such as undocumented immigration status, disability, mental health conditions, or past trauma
Manipulation
- •Distorting information to make you question your memory or perception (gaslighting)
- •Providing false information to mislead others about you
Sexual Abuse
Recognizing PatternsSexual violence refers to any form of sexual contact without consent. This can encompass a range of acts, whether attempted or fully carried out. These acts are also considered sexual abuse if the victim is not fully conscious due to voluntary or involuntary intoxication or drugging.
Unwanted Penetration
- •Coercing you into unwanted sexual intercourse, whether with your partner or someone outside the relationship
- •Demanding sex after an argument or physical altercation
- •Pressuring you into sex while pregnant or ill
Unwanted Sexual Experiences (with or without contact)
- •Exposure to sexual situations against your wishes, such as forced viewing of pornography
- •Sexual harassment through verbal or behavioral means
- •Threatening sexual violence to achieve other goals
- •Unauthorized filming or photography
- •Sharing sexually explicit videos or photos of another person without consent
- •Critiquing your behavior during sexual activity
- •Withholding affection or sex as punishment
- •Using financial support as leverage for sexual favors
- •Using derogatory language after sexual activity
- •Accusations of infidelity
- •Boasting about sexual encounters with others
- •Monitoring your clothing for signs of sexual activity
- •Insisting on unwanted or uncomfortable physical contact
Understanding the Cycle of Abuse
Abuse is rarely constant; it cycles through predictable stages that keep victims hopeful for change while gradually tightening control.
Tension Building
Communication breaks down. Fear grows. You feel like you're 'walking on eggshells,' trying to prevent an unpredictable outburst.
Incident
The abuser acts out — verbally, emotionally, physically, financially, or sexually. The tension explodes into coercive action.
Reconciliation & Minimization
The abuser apologizes, makes excuses, gives gifts, blames stress or substances, or completely denies the event occurred.
Calm / 'Honeymoon' Phase
Things feel briefly 'normal' and hopeful. Tensions slowly begin to rise again as controlling habits resurface — and the cycle repeats.
You are not alone — Healing and freedom are possible
Abuse thrives in silence and isolation. Whatever you have experienced, Lady Ashley and Unleash Her Potential provide a safe, confidential environment to help you rebuild your life, your confidence, and your power.
You deserve support. You are not alone.
If you're in crisis, reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text "START" to 88788. For a free consultation with Lady Ashley, book below.
(951) 348-1560