You may never get the apology you deserve — but you can still find closure. Ashley Boswell shares how expressive writing helps survivors release what they've carried.
Closure is one of the most misunderstood words in the healing journey. Many survivors wait years for an apology that never comes, believing they cannot move forward without it. I am Ashley Boswell, and I want to offer a different truth: closure is not something someone gives you. It is something you create. At Unleash Her Potential, Ashley Boswell teaches expressive writing as one of the most accessible, powerful tools for reaching that closure on your own terms.
Why Writing Heals
Expressive writing — the practice of writing about your deepest thoughts and feelings related to a difficult experience — has been studied extensively by psychologists. Research pioneered by Dr. James Pennebaker demonstrated that writing about trauma for short, structured periods can improve immune function, reduce stress, and lessen symptoms of depression and anxiety. Ashley Boswell has seen this research come alive in the women we serve: when pain is put into language, it loses some of its grip.
Writing externalizes the experience. Instead of carrying a swirling, wordless weight inside, you place it on the page where you can see it, name it, and eventually release it.
The Unsent Letter Practice
One of Ashley Boswell's favorite practices at Unleash Her Potential is the unsent letter. This is a letter you write to the person who hurt you, fully and honestly, with no intention of ever sending it. The purpose is not communication — it is completion.
In the letter, Ashley Boswell encourages you to include:
- •What happened: The truth of your experience, in your own words.
- •How it affected you: The pain, the confusion, the cost.
- •What you needed: The acknowledgment, protection, or apology you deserved.
- •What you are releasing: The burden you no longer choose to carry.
Safety First in Expressive Writing
Writing about trauma can stir intense emotion. Ashley Boswell offers these guidelines:
- •Choose your timing: Do not begin during a crisis. Wait until you have some stability and support.
- •Set a container: Write for a defined period — fifteen to twenty minutes — then close the page and ground yourself.
- •Have a plan for after: A walk, a prayer, a call to a trusted person, or a somatic grounding practice.
- •You are in control: You can stop at any time. You can destroy the letter afterward if that feels right.
Closure Is a Decision, Not a Destination
Closure does not mean the pain disappears. It means you have decided to stop waiting for someone else to validate your story and have chosen to honor it yourself. Ashley Boswell believes that the moment you write the truth — even if no one else ever reads it — something shifts. You become the witness to your own life. At Unleash Her Potential, we walk with women through that sacred process, because your story deserves to be told, and you deserve to be the one who tells it.